Dear internet, you're welcome. Love, BK4!

Dear internet,
You’re welcome.
Love,
BK4!
The first week of the BK4 blog was a fantastic success, if I do say so myself. A seamless week of substantial and humorous posts provided by our seven bloggers, capped off with the public unveiling yesterday. We learned why California is awesome, appreciated MLK Jr. day in a very special way, waited in heavy anticipation for JT’s blog post (that somehow snuck in with an 11:33PM timestamp), learned to appreciate the single greatest recording artist of our time, discovered THiNgZ oN ThE InTeRnEt ThAt wE WanT, watched a bunch of people masturbate, and realized that if the zombies did attack, we’d be better off just feeding drew to them so we can escape while the finger cripple is eaten. Even while the entire world wide web is still shaking in gratitude for our amazing gift to it, we’re on to week 2.

First off, I’d like to say that I appreciate that a bunch of you totally understood what I meant about hitting C once. Now, did anybody get my joke about screens and toddlers?

This is like the third draft of this blog because I started a whole bunch of random stub blogs and then decided they were too pointless (complaining about TV’s without buttons and hotel TV’s without AVI inputs), or too grand to be explored in the few minutes that I had to finish (an entire amazing, amazing website about furbies that I will probably explore in next week’s blog). Instead, I’m going to talk about something we’ve all been talking about over the last few days: “what does the outside world think of BK4?”

Well, I know that within Birnkrant, everyone is trying to match us. As I sit in the conference room writing this post, BK2 is talking about buying BK2 gear (but not everybody even wants it), BK5 still thinks they can beat us as the cool floor to hang out on (with some half-assed one-off attempt to restart human bowling), and BK7 is still not done coming to terms with the fact that Alex is one of us now. There might be a little resentment, but as far as I can tell, none of the floors actively dislike us (because we’re friendly as heck), but sadly, I wonder if most people in this building don’t even know about us. I think we need to do some outreach letting people know how awesome we are.

Outside of BK, I’m not sure how we’re perceived either. People that know about us (Marksie friends), are hella jealous that we’re so tight, and apparently a lot of people know about us because if we’re to believe Kevin, our lovable n00b, then BK4’s fame is widespread on this campus. As it should be.

My question is: “Does it matter?” What does it matter what the outside world thinks? I think we should probably just withdraw from the outside world entirely. We already have our own, complex religion (praise floorby!), complete with various rituals (BK idol), and a holy time from 2-4AM on Friday mornings when everyone comes back from the row. We live in the same building as tro-gro, and we’re just steps away from EVK, the most wonderful dining hall in all the land. If we perform a military takeover of the CSC and wrest it from the control of New/North, we’d have no reason to venture into the outside world anyway.

All I know for sure is, the 4th floor button in the even elevator is the most magical button on the entire world. (except for any buttons in Disneyland I guess). I mean, it literally allows you to step into a box and press a button, and then the box rumbles a little bit and opens up the portal to BK4! - cue angel choir music in your head- (think of it like that next time, it makes the elevator waaaaay more exciting - it's straight out of an indiana jones movie)

BK4 Love,

Steve - sworn defender of the floorby!

P.S: I'd really like to see some posts from everyone else on the floor