A Fable.

There once was a little rabbit named Christopher Maxwell. He could hop farther, further, and faster than all the other rabbits that hung out in his yard.

He had the uncanny ability to snag the most scrumptious celery sticks from the windowsill of Mr. Patterson's house, which was only a hop skip and a jump away from his rabbit hole!

But one day...

an eeeeeevil group of rats moved into the neighborhood. They looted Mr. Patterson's kitchen, stealing all the celery. They evil nibbled on Christopher Maxwell's faaaavorite bag of carrots!

OH NO!

But not only did this wild gang of rats steal food, they also brought with them a nasty little substance: juju juice.

JuJu juice is an ancient rat recipe, brewed in sewers nationwide. Rats drink the juice and feel happy, wobbly, more confident, and awesome.

They sell juju juice to other innocent members of the animal kingdom, luring the creatures in with promises of a good time after sucking on the succulent nectar.

HOWEVER...

the juju juice has a very unfortunate side effect. it can turn even the most teensy weensiest little belly QUEASY, causing animals to UNCONTROLLABLY VOMIT EVERYWHERE.

ANYWAYS..

one day, Christopher Maxwell was minding his business, brutally beating his peers at lacrosse, out-singing the chipmunks, and busting a move that not even the caterpillars could copy.

As usual, he hopped his way up to Mr. Patterson's windowsill and peeked into the house.

THE CELERY WAS GONE.

in it's place was a tiny bowl of juju juice. Being a hearty and curious little creature, Christopher Maxwell eagerly slurped up the juice.

10 minutes later, Christopher Maxwell was having the time of his life. He was feeling great, but he wasn't able to play lacrosse, sing, and dance as well as he could earlier.....

When it was finally time to crawl back into the rabbit hole and go to bed... little Christopher Maxwell stumbled around the lawn, searching for his hole.

He finally fell into a hole and sat down, exhausted.

The juju juice side effect of queasiness set in, and Christopher Maxwell began vomiting all over the floor.

BUT...

It turns out, that this was his friend's rabbit hole, and he just made a huuuuuge mess on another person's floor!

UH OH!

THE NEXT DAY...

Mr. Patterson's two kittens, Jennifer Wong and Student, were prancing around the lawn, looking for rabbits and rats to eat.

But those quick little rats always escaped the clutches of the cats. And as rats are cunning little creatures, they slipped a little juju juice into the cat's milk bowls that evening.

That night, Jennifer Wong and Student stumbled about the lawn, meowing loudly and scratching wildly.

Eventually, they fell down into the same hole that Christopher Maxwell had fallen into the day before...

And the side effects of the juju juice kicked in....

Innocent little Awesome Man, the rabbit who had to deal with all the juju juice side effects, was sad.

But the next day, Awesome Man got hella bitches and got that paper stacked up higher than his rabbit hole, YAH DIG!? CUZ HE'S AWESOME.

Moral of the story: stop puking in my fucking room.