This is why you're fat.

Moms lose approximately 700 hours of sleep in the year following the birth of their child. Bitches weren't kidding... Since the untimely birth of my Hispanic (ish), Esperanza Rising, unibrow, chunkay monkay baby guuuuuuurlll Hayden (my water broke, I was completely dilated by the time I got to the hospital) I've been lost in translation. Postpartum depression. Gettin me some of dem baby bluez...........

I am drowning in a digital sea;
Here my voice goes, to ones and zeros,
I’m slipping beneath the sound.
A song from somewhere below,
deadly and slow begins.

If you ever find yourself at a friend's house after spending the day at the beach and the night bonfiring in the backyard, and ya'll are lookin for a scurry movie to watch togetha, VETO the movie Baby Blues. "On a secluded family farm, a mother suffers a psychotic break due to postpartum depression, forcing the eldest son to protects his siblings from the mother they have always loved." Happy belated birthday to my little purple black Thomas Fielding... (Although I don't think you read this shi3t)... You are now one day older than Edward Cullen will ever be. You can no longer enjoy movies such as 17 again or Twilight, or listen to songs like Seventeen Forever... I feel like you guys probably all hate Metro Station. Don't judge me.

Whose iTunes is named "Listen and Become Enlightened" ??? SkEtChY m0tHAfuCkA.
LET ME IN.
This is my first time being connected to the internet while on my bed.
Thanks to Steve's mad computa skillsz. He hooked me up, literally.

BEWARE OF THE (not BK4) SPRING ADMITS.
Keep all valuables at a safe distance away from them.
Bitches aint fraid to steal shit.

Parkside needs choke hot wings.French Toast Cupcake with Maple Frosting and Bacon
An endless array of disgusting heart-stopping foods @ www.thisiswhyyourefat.com
I hate bacon. Sausages are what's up.

I'm lovin how this site autosaves ma work like whoaaa.

Will someone PLEASE buy me a Fennec Fox, Somali Cat, Savannah Cat, or baby elephant???????????????????? Speaking of elephants, watch this video if you have the balls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg6vRkw9bbY

THIS WEEK SUMMED UP IN ONE WORD: POOP.
1. Mystery girl "shat" in the middle stall and the toilet overflowed.
Poop particles chillin on the floor, stank up our bathroom
2. TKE boys "shat" in the sink. A big fat one too.
3. I'm wearing my TURD LOVE shirt right now.
Shat is suchhhhhhh a classy word.



Yeah, I know Hayden is a better boy name than girl name.
The stork gave me a bitch instead of a weiner. Suck it.
I got into bed to sleep at 11pm.... it's 1:56am.
It's been real.

Let's hit the slopes.