Anyone who saw me last night probably knows that I discovered a site called “Chatroulette”. For some of you, this site may be old news. But for me, it opened up a whole new world. And for those of you who are too perfect in every way (JT) or hate anything fun (Tandra), let me explain what it's all about.
Chatroulette builds upon the now seemingly ancient idea of anonymous chat-rooms and adds one simple factor... the webcam. Strangers can see you, hear you, talk to you, and type to you. Basically, it's like Skype with a bunch of random people. And whenever you get bored with whoever you're talking to, you simply hit “Next” and wait for someone new to appear.
Go ahead, log onto the site. Here's the link.
Right away... You might see a guy lying in his bed, clutching his penis. Just looking for some good conversation.
Click next, and you might see an Andy Milonakis lookalike creepily stroking a full sized katana (a sword... not a penis this time).
You might think you finally stumbled upon the most normal looking guy on the internet... only to have him type “wanna see my balls?”, flash a double thumbs up sign, then slowly stand up and begin unbuttoning his pants.
Only on Chatroulette is “You guys are boring. Why aren't you masturbating?” the first sentence out of an innocent looking girl's mouth.
You might get rick rolled.
You might see Viv, conspicuously cooking up an evil magic potion in her room.
You'll probably see a lot of well-toned six pack abs (43 percent of me goes WILD for that shit)
On one click you might get a teenage douche bag in a black tank top flexing his relatively weak muscles and asking for you to return the favor, on another click you might get a massive Hulk Hogan lookalike massaging his bare chest.
Some people are hard to let go. You want to know their name, their age, their sex, their location (a/s/l?). You don't want to click next, because you know as soon as you hit the button they'll be gone forever.
But inevitably, you will click next. Maybe this time you'll find a couple of college kids in West Virginia drinking “everclear” out of a water bottle in their dorm room with the door wide open.
You might be able to convince an Asian (not sure which flavor) wearing a Brave's hat that you're in Alpharetta (Tom's hometown), watch him get excited, and then flash him the “A-town down” sign.
You might do a shot with a random guy after he tries on three different colored beanies (the green one looked the best).
On Chatroulette, anything is truly possible.
A couple decades ago, and all of this would've offended the average reader. Any decently normal person hit with this barrage of grotesque images would most likely have been disgusted. And as for the freak who actually enjoyed watching people engage in sexual activities with animals, he or she would either have to scour adult bookstores for hours or take a trip to Hollenback's lovely neighbors in Tijuana. But now, everything is different.
So far, I haven't really said anything that people haven't already been saying for years. It's no secret that the internet has opened up a world of possibilities and allowed the freedom (in the US at least) for sexual deviants and fetishists to easily get their fixes. People have been talking to random people in chat rooms ever since Al Gore invented this thing (In middle school I used to go on an AIM chatroom called “battle” and participate in typed rap battles (sample lyric: “bitch I will control alt delete you...” (I was also once convinced that a random stranger on some chat room was actually Eminem's half-brother Nate)))
But Chatroulette is different. On one hand, the site pretty much sums up everything great about our generation. Anything we want, it's all on the internet. We're desensitized to just about everything these days (except rape, Quin. TV show not going to succeed), and the concept of communicating with strangers in random locations throughout the world is not unfamiliar.
But on the other hand, Chatroulette is missing one of the key ingredients of our current society... instant gratification. Instead, the site brings back a nearly forgotten aspect of past society.... working for what you want.
My parents often tell me that when they were at school, they had to go to the library to do research. If they were wondering about a politician or celebrity, they had to wait for the news to come on or gossip magazines to come out. I'm not going to go on a rant about how we can just preform a simple Google search and find out whatever the hell we want (that should be obvious by now), the point is that there is a very noticeable difference in how information is accessed now compared to earlier generations.
And the most interesting thing is that Chatroulette brings back those hard working and slow moving elements of our parents' society. Any average guy with a thing for raccoon sex knows there are plenty of websites out there that cater to his desires that can be easily accessed within seconds. On Chatroulette, it's not so simple. Just like the old days, you have to work for what you want. You have to click your way through masturbators, six packs, katana-wielding fat kids, flexed muscles, groups of drunken teenagers, and Asians (in the sunlight? At night? Whaaaaaaaaaat?!) before finally coming across a lovely picture of a man... actually putting his god-given manstaff into the cousin of that cute little guy from Madagascar...
(see picture above... couldn't figure out how to get it down here).
If you're like me, you'll scream loudly and immediately hit the next button and hope for a naked girl or at least a normal person. But, if you're into bestiality, you can watch the thing. Enjoy it while you can. You never know when the man (is it real? Is it someone showing a video?) will get bored with you and press next... leaving you abandoned and gone forever.
After that, it's on to the next one...
Just wanted an excuse to show that badass video...
But then again, you might see something interesting like a guy dressed as Batman flipping you off on the next click.
Anything you could possibly want, it's all on Chatroulette. You just might have to work for it.
-Sticky.
P.S. Raymond (G. Biggs, who else, bitch?) called me last night and told me he was on relaxing on a yacht in Yemen and wouldn't be able to post on the BK4 blog any time soon. In the meantime, check out his twitter page.
https://twitter.com/raymondgbiggs
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