not sorry at ALL

you know what grinds my gears? when you see a brand new GQ on the stand and get really excited to buy/read/look at it, and five dollars and half an hour later you realize you have a subscription to GQ and the very magazine you are holding in your two hands probably has a twin sitting in shiny plastic wrap in your mailbox. maybe it's just me. oh well.

sooo ya now i feel all this pressure to make my post exciting as last week's... don't expect much.

(604):

People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky

I think I'm going to make some FanFic erotica, since apparently I'm a huge creep anyways:

Harry Potter? Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Bone?

Harry: Hermione, you know... platform 9 and 3/4 isn't the only thing with that same measurement...

Hermione: Tell me more...!

Harry: oh HERMIONE... I've been whomping my willow thinking about you

Hermione: Show me your wand!

Harry: I'd like to get my basilik into your chamber of secrets...

Hermione: I want to ride you like a nimbus 2000!

Harry: I'll make you moan like myrtle...

Hermione: Come here, you hunk of burning love!

meh nevermind... maybe a pokemon one??

trainer 1: you remind me of pokemon... i just want to pikachu with binoculars from my apartment all night long .

trainer 2: wanna battle? my balls are ready ;] when i look at you, my metapodcan't get any harder...

trainer 1: jiggle my puff, cock!! I mean- brock!!

eww too much... maybe a nintendo themed one would be best..

mario: can i just ask if you are a magic mushroom? because you are making me grow.

peach: come into my castle... i'll show you the real fruit...

mario: i'll show you my WII-neer

peach: mmmmmm

mario: if you were a warp tube, i'd be in you all day...

peach: ooh... but i have to admit: i smashed your brother last night...

mario: it's cool... just hurry up and climb my flag pole, slut!

maybe a star wars/sci-fi one would be more appropriate

luke: nice buns princess... on your head that is

leia: show me what a real jedi can do with his light sabre!

luke: oh i will... until now you been looking for love in Alderaan places...

leia: use the force! harder! harder!

or maybe just like a pirate themed one?

jack spare-a-hoe: ya certainly put the shiver in me timbeer ;] is that an X on the seat of your pants? 'cause it appears theres wonderful booty buried underneath!

woman pirate (?): arrrrrr ya free this saturday?

jack: me skull and crossbones won't be the only things goin up that night!

woman: do you mind if the parrot watches?

ok im exhausted. sorry folks. hope that ended your hump day on a high note!