setting the record straight

Ohh hai. My sincerest apologizes regarding the tardiness of this post. It will not happen again.

Okay, so I decided to dedicate this blog to clearing up some of the misconceptions people may have about that glorious city from which I hail, Reno, NV (Nevah-DUH not Nev-AW-duh).

Things every decent human should know about Reno:

It’s awesome

It sucks balls

It is, in fact, the Biggest Little City in the World

You can’t go anywhere without seeing someone you recognize/know

Pop. Est= ~300,000

Police officers do not wear hot pants or arrest drunk hookers/men with their pants off behind motels as frequently as some poorly-constructed, cable television programs would like Americans to believe

According to the ever-brilliant facebook group "you know you live in Reno if..." you know you live in Reno if:

...you've been to Jack in the Box or Del Taco after 2am, and the drive-thru line is at least 1/2 hour long.

...it snows in the morning, and then it's 80 degrees and sunny in the afternoon.

...you've been drunk at farmer's market and seen everyone from high school, including your teachers.

...you've had all-you-can-eat sushi, and you wonder why no other city offers it.

...you know what this is/love it:

I made up that last one, but it's true.

So what if there is a strip club (the Wild Orchid) four minutes away from my high school?

So what if we have the most alcoholics per capita in the United States?

So what if we are the second-largest city in the state that leads the nation in high school dropouts, teen pregnancy, and teen suicide?

Personally, I feel there is no better place for a child to be reared.

Amen.

MISCELLANEOUS!

they never even saw it coming...

(757):

At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."

(678):

This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.

(816):

I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.

What have you done wrong if your wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you?

-Made the chain too long.

Also, what do you tell a woman with two black eyes?

-Nothing. You already told her, twice.

Oh yeaa and i decided that in addition to the BK4mal which is going down later this year, we are also going to have a BK4 retreat. It's going to be fan-freakin-tastic. Time, Location, Details, TBA. Stay tuned.

Alrighty, beezies, i'm tired so it's nap time. I again apologize for the late post, and will make it up to you next week, i PROMISE.

H@PPy hUmP daaaay